A Death Always Changes Your Perception of Reality - Part 2

Today I discovered someone I once cared about had passed away. John Thacker and I dated through most of my college days. We met in the summer of 1999 and soon moved in together. John and I stayed together until the spring of 2001, when we realized that our relationship was not going to withstand the test of time. There were many ups and downs, and our relationship caused much grief with my family as well. It wasn't necessarily a healthy relationship, but it lasted for nearly two years nonetheless. The last time I saw him was in the fall of 2001.

In 2002, I moved to Bloomington, but John and I kept in touch - emailing every few months. The last I heard from him was at the end of July when he told me he was planning on moving to Indianapolis soon. I had wished him the best of luck.

Today, I was looking at his MySpace page. We weren't "friends" on MySpace for various reasons, but I still checked in every once in a while. The comments left by some of his "friends" had me concerned. I then checked the Evansville Courier website and searched for his name. I found his obituary. I couldn't believe it!

Here was this person that I had shared two years of my life with, and I was reading his obituary. I've had family members pass away, but I've never had a friend (or ex-friend in this case) pass away. I shared a lot of time and experiences with him and memories started flooding back - classes we attended, dinners we shared, conversations we had, trips we took, etc. I just couldn't believe it!

I called Lee, who knows everything about me and my past, and even he couldn't believe the news. He asked if I was okay, and I honestly didn't know the answer. I emailed my family and my best friends. Sharla immediately called and asked the same question. I didn't know quite how to respond.

I don't know the circumstances surrounding John's death. His obituary says that he died at his residence. He had muscular dystrophy, and I'm not sure if that was a factor or not. I have sent his mother and nephew a card, and I hope they shed some light on this terrible situation. John always told me that he felt as though he would never live long. He felt that something was going to prevent him from growing old. I always thought he was crazy but in the end he was right.

When someone that you are close to (or once close to) passes away, your perception of reality and life's problems change drastically. Lee lost his job due to cutbacks on Thursday. I've been nervous and worried about it, and I still am. But, at least he is here with me. Everything else we can work around and through.

Please enjoy the times you are with people and never take their presence for granted. They may not be there tomorrow.

In Memoriam:

John Harlan Thacker
9/3/1970 - 8/27/2007
May you rest in peace!